I think the problem that exists with the warning is that there are other things which cause way more interruption to the server than AE2. So many people instantly target people on the list. Most of the time anyone with 10 or under isn't doing anything bad to the system. Maybe there is a way to exclude numbers under 10? I do realise its a good early heads up for people to optimise so maybe there can be a way a player only gets a message saying what their system has instead of globally visible. Also is there a way that one can see server usage per chunk so that we can narrow down other things causing lag? I find that the people who cause the most damage are normally the ones trying to have a billion of everything instead of a sensible number of things. People forget that the Direwolf20 pack is about making systems, automating, end game, etc and not about who has the biggest.....pile of resources. To use the cliche its not the size that matters but how you use it. Also is there a way that server requests can be not accessible to everyone. The first thing inexperienced (can't blame them too much) players do when the TPS drops is to request a reboot instead of trying to figure out who or what is causing the lag. Yes we get 3 minutes of great play after a restart but it takes 5min to restart and then the ignoramus who caused the lag jumps back on and we start to lag again. Maybe it can be changed that one must play at least 7 days IRL before the /srv request command is activated or they can vote.
Let's just say it like this. If the number on top of the list is over 50 ish... Or red. And you so happen to be on top of the list. Then I suggest you follow the steps @Adrianfish posted.
I find direwolf a lag fulle and very bugged mudpack I think it would be best that mym create their own version and try to reduce the lag and how demanding it is